Monday, October 19, 2009

Making Life Easier, with NLP Chunking

You know, in psychology there is a rule, especially within the NLP circles that I work in and the literature that I read, it is quite a famous rule; 7 plus or minus 2 – this is the notion that the conscious mind can only keep track of between 5 and 9 discrete pieces of information at one time. Your unconscious can literally keep track of billions and billions of things at the same time aparently (clever thing that it is!), while your conscious mind is more one step at a time and it has a fairly narrow focus. WHatever the truth of this, it is a useful way to expereince your own thinking.
Here are a couple of things that you can do to test the extent of your conscious mind: Without writing them down, blurt out now, straight away without thought;
- As many brands of cars as you can.
- As many film titles as you can.
- As many pop groups as you can.
Many people run out of steam when they get to ten, usuallly because of the 7+-2 rule. The bottom line is, when the conscious mind is presented with more than 9 pieces of information, it gets overloaded. So before you send me a very clever email telling me off for pointing out the limits of the conscious mind, would you like to know how you can use this to your advantage? Of course you would.
When you bear the 7+-2 rule in mind, you can start to organise things so that you work with your conscious mind, playing to its strengths. For instance, if you have a to-do list.
Many people that I have encountered have a daily to-do list with 20 or more items on it. This is a recipe for total overwhelm (at which point they often resort to looking for the easiest or funnest thing on the list to do.) The following ideas can help you get a handle on your to-do list really fast, especially if that list has things that are important for your goals and achievements and sense of well-being.
Firstly, scan through the list, looking for items that can be grouped together into categories.
For example, here is a load of the stuff on my list for this week:
Write Adam Up.
Bank cheques.
Finish writing chapter for new book
Prepare for client therapy sessions.
Finish project on public speaking.
Finish marketing material for new courses.
FInish listening to current educational Audio set.
Read through solicitors material regarding other business project.
Write up script for new audio title.
Send out follow-up letters for last weeks clients.
Prepare for photo shoot for new Bio.
Write up blurb for my new Audio release.
Write new web-page copy.
Review new CD covers
Meet PR people
Do proposal for new book for Publishers.
Read e-book
New course blurb
Meet with prospective business artner for new project.
Clear inbox.
Have a life. Have fun......
The first thing on the list is ‘Write Adam Up’ – for me, "Adam Up" is one of my products, so I write ‘Product’ beside it. Next is ‘Bank Cheques’ – that’s part of our cashflow system, so I write ‘Systems’ beside it. Pretty soon, every item on my list is in a category:
Write Adam Up.
Bank cheques.
Finish writing chapter for new book
Prepare for client therapy sessions.
Finish project on public speaking.
Finish marketing material for new courses.
Finish listening to current educational Audio set.
Read through solicitors material regarding other business project.
Write up script for new audio title: Products.
Send out follow-up letters for last weeks clients: Systems.
Prepare for photo shoot for new Bio: Marketing.
Write up blurb for my new Audio release: Marketing.
Write new web-page copy: Marketing.
Review new CD covers: Systems
Meet PR people: People.
Do proposal for new book for Publishers: People.
Read e-book: Personal.
New course blurb: Marketing.
Meet with prospective business artner for new project: People.
Clear inbox: Personal.
Have a life. Have fun: Personal.
This is better! I have now gone from a list of 20 or so items (instant overwhelm) to a list of 6 categories which is well within even my 7+-2 limit.
- Products
- Systems
- Training
- Marketing
- People
- Personal
This is what we refer to as chunking in my professional field, and is one of the most effective ways of dealing with any large or complex set of tasks (or set of anything else). You may say “Great, but I’ve got 200 things on my to-do list”. It doesn’t matter – the same principles apply. If you go through your to-do list or your goals lists; just get it whittled down from 200 items to 20 categories, that is better, it is getting it more manageable – go through the 20 categories and see where they group together. Group together goals for your own development; being a non-smoker, growing in confidence, creating wealth, reducing weight etc. The key is to have no more than 9 categories at each level – this way your conscious mind can keep track of it.
Secondly, start to manage your to-do list by the high-level categories: You can use this in all sorts of areas to make things more manageable, for example:
- To-do lists.
- Goals you are working toward.
- The filing system on your computer.
- Your filing cabinet.
- Any project you’re doing.

Friday, April 3, 2009

A Hypnosis Script - Learn What to Say

An expert on the art and science of hypnosis employs several techniques by which to put his subject in a relaxed state, thereby enabling the subject's subconscious to take some necessary instruction. The techniques used in hypnosis have all been proven effective, which is why they have been passed from one generation to the next throughout history. But since there are a wide variety of techniques being used by the experts, a beginner may get easily confused. It is, in fact, very difficult to remember all of these techniques at once. Beginners would do well to master one technique at a time.
It is because of this that most neophyte hypnotists take advantage of a hypnosis script. This script usually everything you need to say from the time you are putting your subject in a hypnotic state until the time you bring him back to a conscious state. A hypnosis script is doubly important for someone who is just starting out in the practice because any pause or interruption in the process can break the spell and thereby cause the subject to wake. Having something tangible that you can glance at whenever you get a little confused as to what to say next will go a long way in ensuring that the procedure is done smoothly.
There are several ways of creating a hypnosis script. It can either be made out of information that you get from hypnosis books or you can get it straight from a hypnosis expert. You may ask for an interview with the resident expert in your area to be sure that your script has been proven to work in practical application. As soon as you get your script ready, take the time to familiarize it and memorize as much of it as you can.
The hypnosis script itself should only act as a guide when you are performing an actual hypnosis and you should not be reading everything directly from it. This is because your voice should sound natural when you are hypnotising someone and a reading voice can sound robotic and may distract the subject from getting into the ideal hypnotic state. The best way to familiarize yourself with your script is by practicing the procedure with family members and close friends.
It is important for you to realize that being a hypnotist holds a considerable amount of power, which is why it is essential that you practice your craft thoroughly before applying it on someone you do not know. As much as hypnosis can create a better life for those who experience it, it can also have adverse effects if performed incorrectly. So have your hypnosis script ready at all times and practice as much as you can. There is no shame in being a beginner since we all have to start somewhere. Pretty soon, you will realize that you no longer need your script; you are more confident in applying the method and that is when you can finally say that you are an expert in the art of hypnosis.

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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Conversational Hypnosis Course - What Are the Features and Benefits?

If you happen to be a salesman, you probably know just how hard it is to land on big sales. It takes a lot of convincing powers and effort to get people to believe in the features of your product. If you want to have the ability to influence people and do exactly what you want them to do, you would benefit from a Conversational Hypnosis course. If you are a salesman struggling to have big sales from big clients, then this course is for you. Imagine having the skill and expertise to make people do what you wish and believe in every word you are telling them. This is what you can gain from learning how to do conversational hypnosis.
This type of hypnosis is not illegal. It is also not intended to be used for any illegal purpose or in anything that is prohibited by law. The basic principles of conversational hypnosis as well as the rules should be understood in order to know exactly when and where to use the skill.
The process of conversational hypnosis involves simple conversation. Its technique uses a combination of proper choice of wording and body language during the interaction in order to persuade or convince them subconsciously to do what it is that you want them to.
There are many ways in which you can make use of this type of hypnosis to your advantage. Keep in mind that it should not cause harm to anybody especially to the person you are talking to. The process should only involve simple conversation. During the course, various topics will be covered in detail. It involves separate lessons including the general ideal of this type of hypnosis. Other topics that are covered by the Conversation Hypnosis course are the general foundation, simple techniques and other informative topics which include tricks. The course also covers the circumstances when it should not be used.
After taking this course, imagine just how much you can do to convince other people. You will increase your sales, perform well in your job and earn the respect of others.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Lester Levenson's Release Technique

How was the Release Technique created and what can it do for you? This was created to give you some history behind this amazing self improvement technique and to let you know what it is capable of doing for you.
The Release Technique began its life with a man called Lester Levenson. When Lester was 42 he had suffered his second major heart attack and was sent home to die. His doctor told him he had only weeks and perhaps days to live so he should not exert himself and stay in bed.
Lester Levenson was a physicist by profession. He was a materialist and believed only in what could be seen and measured. Fortunately though, this view changed as he started to question his life and what he wanted from it as he prepared for death. Slowly the answers came to him along with the framework for the Release Technique.
Afer questioning what it was he wanted from life Lester discovered that he was seeking happiness. He had always felt most happy when he had been in love and had felt most unhappy when he was seeking to be loved. So he started to change all his unloving feelings to feelings of love and found himself getting physically stronger. He also discovered something else!
Lester also discovered that for years he had wanted to change the past, control the present and manipulate the future. He realized he had been looking for approval and a feeling of safety in order to make himself feel happy. He now understood that these feelings made him think in certain ways and that these thoughts were actually creating his experiences! Then he discovered the Release Technique. By using the Release Technique he removed, or let-go of, these feelings and his body healed itself completely in 3 months.
The Release Technique is a powerful technique to eliminate negative thoughts and feelings on the spot. By using it to free himself from his self-imposed limitations Lester healed his entire body within three months. Within 6 months of actively releasing negativity with the Release Technique he was a millionaire!
Although the Release Technique outlines the fact that our thoughts create our realities it deals with removing our negative emotions. It is powerful work. Lester used the Release Technique to free himself of negative emotions and became physically healthy and a millionaire as a result.
It is well known in self improvement circles that the biggest hindrance to growth, material and spiritual, is negative thoughts. By using this technique to remove negativity your thoughts become clear and extremely powerful. They materialize in the world very quickly.
The Release Technique works on the premise that our feelings are the driving force behind our thoughts. The technique teaches you to release your negative emotions that are driving your negative thoughts.
To fully understand how this works you must experience it. It is a truly wonderful sensation the first time you use the Release Technique. It leaves you feeling light, giddy and free. The more you use the Release Technique the better it gets!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Fears and Phobias and Halloween Festivities

Halloween promotes thoughts of ghost, goblins and thing that go bump-in-the-night. So this is as good a time as any to talk about how fears and phobias work. Fears and phobias are defined by how they were created.
Fears are usually created by a series of experiences (could be negative or positive) that generally occur in a similar context and evokes similar response. So if you went on a rollercoaster and it scared you and you went on it again and it scared you; that's a fear.
Fears can also be a generalization. You got barked at a dog so all your life you where wary of anything with four legs and a tail that barks.
A phobia is also a fear but usually it manifests as a one-time learning event. Your brother threw a rubber snake at you and now you have a fear of flying snakes. I don't know of any species of snake that flies, but you can never be too careful if you have a flying snake phobia.
The best way to get rid of a fear isn't the standard (substandard) behavioral modification method they teach in Psychology 101. The best method, I've found is an NLP technique called a collapsed anchor.
The short version is to establish a touch anchor for the "fear" and then establish a different touch anchor for a very resourceful or power emotional state. Then fire the "fear" anchor and one half-second later fire the "resource" anchor. Hold until you see the person shift to the resource state and then let go of the "fear anchor". This collapses the fear response and forces the brain to associate good of neutral feeling toward the former "fear" state. Try it, you'll like it.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Signs of Hypnosis

If you want to learn how to tell if somebody is hypnotized, then you should read this article. When hypnotizing people, it's important that you are able to read the signals that they give you. Unfortunately, there is no big red sign that suddenly pops up on people's forehead that says: "hypnotized!" when they enter a trance. And, other than in the movie, most people don't turn into zombie-like creatures when they are hypnotized either. In fact, to the untrained eye, they look pretty much normal. That's why in this article, you're about to discover the telltale's of a hypnotized person.
The eyes. The eyes tell a lot about what's going on in a person. Maybe you know what a "status bar" in your browser is - it's the little thing that's kind of giving you updates on what your browser is currently doing (for example: "Looking up Google.com"; "Transferring data from..." "waiting for reply from"... and so on. Well, the eyes are kind of the "status bar of human beings". So if you see that distant, glazed look on people's eyes, that looks kind of daydreamerish, you know you got'em hypnotized.
The Breathing We almost never pay conscious attention to how someone else is breathing, unless they breath very noisily (like when they snore, or when they're totally out of breath). But when we study the breathing rate of a person in their waking state, then we will immediately be able to realize when their breathing rate changes, and that's an indicator that they're entering a trance. Usually, they will be breathing slower and deeper.
The Body The body tends to become immobile during hypnosis. Not that hypnotic subjects get paralyzed, but they generally move less and then move slower. This is specially obvious if you are hypnotizing a person that is usually gesturing a lot with their hands. Under hypnosis, they won't.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Stress Incontinence - Part (1)

The whole gamut of life even though luscious at the first look, is full of woes, worries and sorrows. Many kinds of aliments and sicknesses smother us mentally and physically which gives a 'caged' feeling sometimes! These imperceptible worries imbibe our mental strength considerably making us imbecile and 'withdrawn' to some extent! Stress incontinence is one among them and certainly we must know some basic facts about it. Once stress incontinence gets hold of somebody that means his natural life is being restricted! Whatever meretricious life he may be having, all that charms will be lost once he falls as a prey to stress incontinence! Though anybody can become a victim of this nuisance creating disorder, it is generally noted that stress incontinence is common among the female section of the society. Stress incontinence is a peculiar disorder connected with the 'urine passing' and usually it is found that a good doctor and some regular exercises will settle the problem.
Our body mechanism has got a really marvelous way of working. Each and every body constituent has got its own special duties, which they do in a proper and efficient way, contributing to the total positive functioning of the body. But once any one of these constituents gets affected with some problems the net result can be seen within the whole body! Stress incontinence is a disorder which is directly connected with the improper functioning of the kidney bladder muscles. The function of kidneys is the preparation of urine and thereby removing many unwanted materials from the body. This is a non-stop process and thus the kidneys are engaged in continuous work. The prepared urine is deposited in the kidney bladder through 'Urethras', which are the tubes from the kidneys to the bladder. A person suffering from the stress incontinence finds it very difficult to hold the urine thus deposited without a leak, mainly because of the malfunctioning of this kidney bladder.
The quantity of urine that gets generated depends upon various factors like the amount of water you drink, the nature of food you consume and the quantity of sweat produced from your body. All the urine thus formed is collected in the kidney bladder. The Kidney bladder is formed by certain kinds of muscles which have got the capacity to expand like a balloon and when it gets filled with urine it expands. The 'urethra' is the outlet for passing out urine and in the normal case it is kept closed with the help of the 'pelvic muscles', which stretches round the 'urethra'. When these 'pelvic muscles' gets weakened because of some other problems, one is getting affected by stress incontinence
The functioning of the kidney system in a person who is affected by the stress incontinence differs very much from an ordinary healthy person. Usually when the bladder gets filled up you are getting a sensation and you will get a feel to pass urine. During this process of 'urine passing' the bladder muscles squeezes itself, while the 'urethra' and the 'pelvic floor' muscles take rest. The magical nervous system within our body which is a non-stop wonder passes messages to the brain, the bladder and to the pelvic floor muscles thus keeping you aware of the whole process. This awareness explains to you about the quantity of urine left inside the bladder and also orders the muscles to contract or relax at the correct timings. But this is not the case with a person who has got the stress incontinence.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Hypnotize People Conversationally

Do you want to be able to influence others? Be persuasive in your arguments and have the people around you follow your lead? If you want to become a "social Alpha", and use conversational hypnosis in ethical ways, then you should read this article. We're going to cover the benefits and history of conversational hypnosis, and most importantly give you a quick start on how to hypnotize people conversationally.
So let's get started!
History of Conversational Hypnosis
It started with Dr. Milton H. Erickson, who was arguably the greatest hypnotherapist of the 20th century. Back in his times, the American Medical Association forbid medical doctors to practice hypnosis with their patients. Erickson didn't want to let go of this powerful method that helped so many of the people who came to see him for help - but he didn't want to lose his license to practice as an M.D. either.
That's why he developed ways to hypnotize people secretly - nobody knew that hypnosis was being practiced, because non of that "you're getting sleepy, and as a I count to three, you fall in a deep trance" hypnosis talk was going on. Rather, Erickson was "just talking" to people. It was really a kind of camouflaged hypnosis.
Many brilliant minds, including Richard Bandler and John Grinder, the founders of NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming), studied Erickson's method and taught it to others. One of the most outstanding students in recent days was a guy named Igor, who is now himself teaching these methods very successfully.
Why Master Conversational Hypnosis?
Why should you care to master conversational hypnosis? What will it do for you in your life? That's a great question to ask, and since I don't know you personally, I can't tell you precisely, but here's just some of the things it COULD do for you:
make you more authoritative and influential
be able to negotiate a higher salary, a promotion, better prices with your customers and cheaper prices from your suppliers
make friends with anybody by making "instant rapport"
easily make others want to do what you want them to do
compel colleagues to do what you want
have children and teenagers listen to you - and respect you
get anyone to say "yes"
and much more...
How To Hypnotize Conversationally
The first step if you want to influence someone is to clearly define for yourself what it is that you want them to do. I know this sounds obvious, but oftentimes people "just want to influence people", but don't know about what, and then they wonder why they're not persuasive.
Next, you need to gain rapport. There are ways to persuade people without rapport, but for the beginning it's a lot easier to use rapport to get things your way.
After that, you "plant ideas" in their minds. This is very important, because you don't want people to be perceiving you as if you boss them around. Rather, make them feel like they do what they want because THEY want. Make them feel like it's their own idea.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Spelling Made Easy With NLP

Report cards are coming home and many of us are struggling to identify useful methods for decreasing our child's anxiety over testing, frustration with reading and poor focus or inattentiveness in class. Often we recognize the stress in them because the feelings are all too familiar within ourselves. Learning stress seems destined to follow students from grade school all the way into university. You may even be noticing it in the work place as companies and employees strive for higher level training and qualifications for those who may not have seen the inside of a classroom in years and who may not remember that classroom in a positive way.
Did you know that many of the challenges we face are actually self created. In other words, it is often the stories we tell ourselves - in the privacy of our own minds - that is actually inhibiting our performance. Our thoughts have energy. As we begin to utter any statement about ourselves, the universe instantly begins to comply with those requests. Statements like, "I am a lousy student; I am no good at Math; I fall apart on tests; I just can't spell" are all great examples of this phenomenon at work. Think it and you become it - a self fulfilling prophecy.
What can we do then to change the outcomes we are getting? The first step is in recognizing and resisting those negative dialogues - consciously reframe them into a statement about what you 'do' want rather than what you 'don't' want. Another step would be in getting enough rest - sleepy people make poor students and struggle with attention. Nutritionists have constantly advised students to eat a healthy breakfast as it kicks into gear the mental capacities necessary for enhanced performance. Finally, one can begin to develop a strategy of modeling the strategies used by someone who performs well in the areas in which we are attempting to improve our skill. This article will provide some insight into the 'How To' for this particular skill set.
Neuro Linguistic Psychology (NLP) is founded on the belief that all behaviour has a structure. As such, one simply needs to notice the structure in someone who performs well, de-code it and then apply the strategy for ourselves. Unfortunately, most individuals who excel in a particular area are not able to articulate exactly how they do it. Their thinking process is mostly automatic. As a result, we may have to look for additional clues to uncover their process. Robert Dilts, one of the early pioneers of NLP often used spelling to demonstrate how to locate the other clues. He used spelling because it was simple to demonstrate and easily testable.
When learning to spell, we often encourage our students to sound the words out, but this strategy may actually be compounding their spelling difficulties. Phonics is the tool used for spelling words the way that they sound. Phonics is useful for decoding words never seen before, but it is not the strategy that good spellers adopt. In order to recognize how this strategy may not be useful, take a moment and apply that strategy to the word 'Phonics'. When sounded out phonetically, it sounds like "puh-hon-iks". When spelled phonetically it looks like "fonix"? You can see how this may not be the best strategy for a poor speller.
If you were to ask a good speller how they know when a word is spelled correctly, you will likely hear "I just feel that it looks right." The stronger the 'feeling' the more sure they are that the word is spelled correctly. This is a great clue. Let's break the message down.
Start with the eyes for they are the windows to the soul. Watch carefully the eyes of a good speller as they are asked to spell a word. You may notice that first their eyes will go up and to the left. NLP says that when this occurs the person is accessing the part of their brain where visual memories are stored. This indicates that a picture of the word has become available to the speller. The eyes then cast downward. NLP says that this happens when the part of the brain responsible for feelings is accessed. It is at this point where the speller knows that they now have the correct spelling of the word. Notice that the 'sound it out' system is not in the strategy used by effective spellers.
Unfortunately, poor spellers use a variety of strategies. In some cases they will even shift strategies in the middle of spelling a word. This leads to inconsistencies. Perhaps that is why your child knew their word list during your review with them but then performed poorly on the spelling test the very next day.
So how can we use the strategy of a good speller to improve the performance of a poor speller? The answer is going to seem too easy - do it - it really works!
Step 1: Look at the correct spelling of the word, then look up and to the left to visualize it. This places the correct spelling into memory.
Hint: If you are struggling with this step, picture the word in your favorite colour or as a string of letters pulled together to create the entire word.
Step 2: Develop a feeling of confidence and shift your eyes downward to produce that confident state
Hint: If you are struggling with this step, think about anything that you feel confident doing - tapping into it will shift your feeling state. While picturing the correct spelling, feel the confidence you get when doing something you are really good at and the feeling of confidence will anchor itself to the correct spelling.
Now when asked to spell a word you simply shift your eyes up and to the left to "see" it, then down to get the sense of confidence you need to know it is the correct spelling.
You have now learned a process for how to become a good speller. By noticing the clues presented by a good speller, you are able to adopt that strategy for yourself. Imagine how you could use this information in other areas of your life.

Friday, March 6, 2009

A More Confident You

Having self-confidence is whole lot different from being bloated with self-praise. Having self-confidence means that a particular person is not easily toppled when faced with difficulties. In fact, when a person is confident, he or she may not even be particularly good at something but still appear confident by demeanor, his or her actions and words. Beautiful people who walk with their heads held high, shoulders squared and have the tendency to stride in a particularly self-assured fashion are usually considered people with a lot of self-confidence.
Confident people don't necessarily have to be beautiful, though. Many average-looking people have a lot of self-esteem even when they're looking a beautiful person in the eye. Walking tall and talking boldly is the true definition of someone who possesses utmost faith in his or herself.
Being beautiful can make a person more confident. Being younger, taller will have the same effect too but let's just reverse the situation here - can a person who does not feel good about him or herself emit a confident air about them? It's not impossible, but it will be an awfully tough nut to crack. The effect of dressing, smelling and looking smashingly good for yourself have a positive effect on a person, be it a male or female. That is why modern folks are placing more and more importance on looking appropriately fine when attending official functions or even when heading out to the shopping complex.
Generally speaking, the younger you are, the more beautiful you feel. The more beautiful you feel, the more confident you are about yourself. That is why many people, especially women, are deeply engrossed and fascinated with the many anti-aging products and services offered today. If they want to feel more confident, they have to start feeling, knowing and looking many years younger than their real age.
Whilst this is not the whole truth, the link between age and self-confidence cannot be denied. As long as a person spends less time thinking about what others think about them or how to find approval from close quarters, this person will find it easier to be confident with her own looks and abilities.
Start with working on how your body respond to the way you look by experimenting with fragrances, clothes, accessories and cosmetics. Celebrate every time you feel that the clothes that you wear makes you feel a little taller. If a fragrance that you use makes you feel many years younger, then remember to stock it up for future use. This way, you can feel and act in a more confident matter whenever you feel like it - and soon, it's not a matter of relying on these items anymore...having confidence will become a big part of your personality.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Secondary Death - Part 2

I spoke with his wife recently and she told me that she moved out of the house and she hasn't heard from him herself. He charged all of his credit cards up, and when he ran out of funds on that card he began to charge up her cards as well. This represents a prime example of a negative secondary death; he built a great reputation over the course of 19 years, and appeared to be completely stable. However, it only took less than a year to tear down what was took nearly half of his life to build up.
What you can learn from this story is that we are always faced with issues in life, no one lives an absolutely perfect life, also you can see that is much easier to fall then it is to ascend. This secondary death did not only affect him but those around, including me. His wife suffered a secondary death when he became consumed by drugs. The stress that came along with the debt that was accumulating combined with the loss of someone she truly loves led to a depression which resulted in a secondary death within her. When she began to lose who she was it began to affect those around her, you can derive from this that one person's secondary death can spark a chain reaction that affects people that he doesn't know. This is also proof that we are all connected in a way. There was a time when I viewed him as a source of inspiration, and through that source I was able to inspire others; that is how it works in both directions.
His secondary death also caused a secondary death within me. I began questioning aspects of life, how easy it is to rise and how hard it is to fall. It bothered me that someone I drew inspiration from went in such a negative direction. My rebirth is learning that I only need to gain inspiration from within, and just because one good man falls does not mean there is no hope. I also suffered a secondary death because I lost someone who is very close to me. At this point I don't even know where he is or if he is alive physically, and for some reason I have been unable to contact anyone who communicates with him.
If he is alive there is still a chance for him to turn his life around. We cannot let addictions control us and determine the outcome of our lives. Drug addiction and alcohol abuse can completely change an individual's perspective so that it is blurred and they are capable of making wise decisions. Drugs and Alcohol also thrive because of how easily they are able to convince people that they can't live without them. People use these as a means of dealing/coping with problems but the ultimate result is more problems, and the need for more drugs to cope with more problems. It results in a spiral downwards as each of the factors feed upon each other and implant within the user a desire to keep upping the doses. If my friend returns from this blind mind state, he will have a greater appreciation for life. Reason being: because he has already experienced a form of death.
Factors of death: when someone passes away physically people cannot communicate with them directly, they no longer have a use for material wealth, and nothing on this earth is of any use to them. The reason I refer to this case as secondary death is because he possess all of the characteristics as someone who has passed away. This is truly a loss for everyone who knows him but this is not necessarily the end. Each day we are alive is chance to restructure our lives the way we want. In life temptations can be very strong, but no matter the case, humans possess the ability to overcome anything that oppresses them. That may be a drug addiction, other people, or you may even be oppressing yourself.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Lose Weight by Ending the Struggle with Yourself

Self talk is key. You can stop the struggle by ending the self talk that supports the struggle. You've heard it before--what you focus on is what you receive. Nowhere is that more true than in believing it is a struggle to stay healthy. Who would want to be healthy if it's such a horrible struggle? Yet, you've probably seen people who are fit, healthy and happy; you might even know a few. They seem to bounce when they walk. They're animated and excited about life, and if you asked them they wouldn't say it's a struggle. "What do you mean," they'd ask? Struggle? Nah, I'm just doing what I want," and they'd mean it.

Forget the notion that you have to struggle and eat celery sticks for dinner. It's not true. Despite the fact that you've lost the weight before and gained it right back, despite your belief that you can't even look at food without gaining weight. All of those thoughts are just more beliefs that are keeping you stuck. What you focus on becomes your reality.

What if You Never Got Hungry?

I'm a prime example. I don't struggle. Some days I eat a lot. Some days not so much. Some days very little. Yesterday I ate my usual breakfast and then, strangely, I just didn't feel hungry all day. I felt different somehow. Not ill, but I just didn't want to eat. "What's up with this?," I thought to myself, but I decided to just ride it out and see what happened. Well, I'm here to tell you that nothing happened. I lived to tell another story, see another day. Nothing fell from the sky and the world didn't stop spinning because I didn't eat much yesterday. It was just another day.

Today I ate a few handfuls of malted milk balls. No big deal to me, but I know many of you are thinking, "I'd never be able to eat just some, I'd have to eat them all," and that is my point. Telling yourself you can't eat "some," or as many as you want, but that you believe you'd be compelled to eat them all, no matter how many there were is a belief that is keeping you stuck. I don't believe that to be true, and so, for me it is not true.

Changing a Fundamental Belief with EFT

How do you change a fundamental belief? You start with basic EFT using it for everything that comes up, even though it may not seem related. Every worry, fear, doubt, struggle. Use it on everything, and those issues that do make a difference in your eating will start dissolving away. Try it - what have you got to lose but some weight?

What's EFT? It's Emotional Freedom Training and it's taking the world by storm as an easy, self administered practice to help reduce or eliminate the emotional issues that keep us stuck. Free information available at EmoFree.com. I added EFT to my toolkit as soon as I learned it because it's easy to learn, easy to use, and it's effective.

To learn EFT specifically for weight loss, get The Daily Bites (see resource box below).

Remember those healthy folks I mentioned earlier? They don't view how they eat or how much they exercise as a struggle at all. They are active because they want to be active, and they eat foods that make them feel great. They probably eat a lot of the same things you eat too--I'm talking about everyday people who have learned to feel good about themselves. None of them are perfect--despite the common belief that there is some "perfect" body, it's just not true. Everyone has a wrinkle here, extra skin there. Every single one of us is flawed in some way or another. It's what makes us unique.

Choose to focus on the benefits, rather than the sacrifice

Everything worthwhile takes effort--having a baby comes to mind. All mothers will likely agree that childbirth has its down side, but the ultimate reward makes it all worth it (yes, some women feel great while pregnant, but I wasn't one of them). Otherwise, everyone would be a single child. ;-) Think about it.

Becoming a professional musician or baseball player comes to many who played Little League and started practicing the piano when they were very small. Tiger Woods was only 3 or 4-years old when his father first taught him to hold a golf club. He also showed him videos of professional golfers when he sat in his high chair eating his dinner (his dad was a little odd, I'd say). Woods started playing golf at such a young age that he literally grew up playing the game. He wanted to play. His father undoubtedly drove him to work harder at it than most children would, but he had to have a strong drive of his own or he never would have made it. But what if he'd hit 6-year's old and suddenly said to himself, "I don't want to practice. I hate golf. I wanna play with my friends. I'll never be any good at his stupid game."

Maybe things would have turned out differently. The bottom line though is he did what he did because he wanted to (his parents obviously had a lot to do with it too), and the reward? Today he's considered the most gifted golfer of all time, and to what does he attribute his success? The practice and discipline of his mind. He learned from one of his primary coaches to harness the power of his mind--using NLP and hypnosis techniques (and likely he's since started to use EFT as well). Learn to use your mind to focus on the results you want - or conversely focus on avoiding what you do not want, and you'll win your prize, loving the process, instead of dreading it.

How to Get Started

Starting from right now, get a box of toothpicks, matchsticks, marbles, small rocks or twigs from the yard. Something small enough you can carry it with you. Whenever you catch yourself starting to say anything negative, "I don't want to ..., or, "I hate ...," or "I'm gonna strangle ..." Anything negative you catch yourself saying or beginning to say, whether towards yourself or someone else doesn't matter.

Start noticing how often you're feeding yourself negative energy. Then, apply the STOP technique as soon as you realize you are doing it, you yell (to yourself) STOP, and immediately replace what you were saying with something else. Here's what I mean:

"I hate having to wash the ... STOP ... it's nice getting a chance to stretch and bend while the car gets cleaned."

Yes, it's stiff and forced, at first. Anytime you attempt to change a behavior it will feel forced. Just allow yourself to learn to change your self talk, and that early discomfort with the process will pass. It will start to be fun to "catch" yourself. As soon as you start doing it, you'll realize how often you're been feeding yourself negativity, and you'll also see how easily you can change that habit.

Positive people tend to be happier people. I'm not suggesting you get a personality change, but I am suggesting, if you ultimately want to drop some weight and never see it again that you change your thinking from how much you'll have to struggle to how much better you're going to feel.